players only love you when they're playing

Musician. Songwriter. Aquarius.

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

(via cup-o-teatay)

scotland-graveyard:

eyress:

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WITS
The game is this: I set up five pairs of identical looking shots:  pineapple juice or lemon juice,  Chinese sugar tea or apple cider vinegar,  flat coke or soy sauce,  water or distilled white vinegar,  and tomato juice or Tabasco sauce.
I challenge a player in the circle to a color. They pick one and I take the other, with our best poker faces. Other players have to guess who got what.
It’s like the Princess Bride/A Study in Pink but no one gets poisoned!

This is genius

scotland-graveyard:

eyress:

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WITS

The game is this:
I set up five pairs of identical looking shots:
pineapple juice or lemon juice,
Chinese sugar tea or apple cider vinegar,
flat coke or soy sauce,
water or distilled white vinegar,
and tomato juice or Tabasco sauce.

I challenge a player in the circle to a color. They pick one and I take the other, with our best poker faces. Other players have to guess who got what.

It’s like the Princess Bride/A Study in Pink but no one gets poisoned!

This is genius

(via cup-o-teatay)

timelordspacegandalf:

loserberries:

dangergays:

enough of that “stick around for ur family” shit

here’s why you shouldn’t kill yourself u fucker

  • orgasms
  • fuckin puppies those cute lil shits
  • dude have you seen the fucking maldives
  • did i mention orgasms
  • ddude fob is back together n they r releasing new pUNK SONGS
  • so many concerts to go to
  • fuckin WINTER. snow n shit
  • the “keep calm and carry on” meme is dying

whenever im sad i look at this post

this post is now permanently on my desktop

(Source: dangergays, via mackenziechance)

christoph-waltzed:

I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get  it cut

So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to.

She came in the next day with her hair cut how she wanted it and a smug grin on her face and I knew that that girl was going places. 

(Source: pleasantandcain, via cup-o-teatay)